It is often said that someone who keeps a diary is not a happy person. Happy people don't need to pen their misgivings, their unworthiness or their unspoken words down. They live each day, keeping every second in their head because it is easy.
Compare this to someone who keeps a diary. Someone who always have something to write down, because most of the time, that diary is the one thing that sees the bad and the ugly.

You can judge me as you see fit; it is inevitable, an unstoppable facet of human nature. In the same, cruel way, I will judge you the way you judge me.

A little bit about me - I'm eighteen, cohabiting with my boyfriend, and I adore the people who care about me.

A wild teen, a partygirl - I've been there and lived through it. Now at 18, I'm living the life of a 25.
And you know what? Partying, chugging down shots - I don't miss any of it. Sure, sometimes I let my hair down, but what I love most is cuddling in bed in my PJs with the love of my life.

This is getting long - so I'll cut it. You can look at me through somebody else' eyes, but you'll always be doing that. Living without your own. I'm not looking for friends anyway, so I actually don't really need you to like me. I have met enough people to know that true friends, like true love, are just like ghosts. Everyone talks about it, but few have actually experienced it.

Hello there, I'm Mavis, and I'm actually not a bitch.



 

I have moved to ifyouseekbunny.lj ^^

So many things I have to say, yet it's so hard finding words that fit.

Mother's Day was barely over, yet what I'm giving you is hardly pleasant. I can remember all the times you cradled my head and said it's all right, the times you called twenty times a day to make sure I'm fine, the times I get sick and you broil soup for 8 hours and make Dad bring it over for me.

I wish... I can repay you for all the things you've done for me. Half would be more than enough for me - I won't be that foolish to ask for everything.

How do you say 'I'm sorry' to the best mom in the world?

Sometimes I wonder what really goes on in my head.

I've always imagined the expression "I could practically see the clogs in her brain turning". How cool would that be? Instead of just some boring old grey mush... hmm. But if we had gears for brains mine would be turning backwards. It's like in my mind, I'm going SHITSHITSHIT NEED TO GET WEB D  DONE NOW but my hands are playing Bejeweled on Facebook on their own. And apparently they're not paying much attention cos I'm STILL playing.

Missing school tmr because doctor sent me to get a chest X-ray done... But I still have to go to school to do radio. Sucks to be me.
CAN EDUCATION JUST END HERE PUHLEAZEEEEE. ):

I want to get a new livejournal. It's confusing keeping both a blogspot and a lj but i don't know mmm...

FUCK FARLEY JUST BEAT MY HIGH SCORE IMMA GO GET HIM NOW BYE
x

 

I wish I can be everything I want to be. How nice would it be to be a butterfly flitting from one flower to another, freedom in my veins, sweetness down my throat. How nice would it be to be the thunderbolt during a storm, to be the one thing that lights up the sea of darkness. How nice would it be to be the warm caress of wind across a child's cheek, catching his fallen eyelash as he makes a wish?

(lefashion)
 

Brought Sushi to the doctor again today.
Apparently some muthaf of an insect bit her and she kept biting the bite.
So her tail is now infected.
Doc shaved off her tail and made her wear an E Collar
I feel so helpless. I mean when your daughter, your son or your elderly grams is sick you know how they feel cause they can articulate it right?
When it's your dog feeling that way... how do you tell her not to scratch that, not to bite that because it would just hurt her more?

There is no way to make sure that she's feeling all right, and that she understands your actions. She whimpered when I put medicine on her tail.
Heart.Ache.

Anyway later we're heading out for some steamboat dinner, and then we have to drop by Nat's bday. Have tons of work to do plus school tomorrow from 9-6. FUCKING KILL ME PUHLEAZE.

x

Been ages since I posted anything here. Edited my top entry... want to delete past entries but don't know how to mass delete.


Why does LJ feels so comfortable to blog on? I mean on Blogspot I always feel... kinda restricted. Like I get writer's block, I go all uneasy and it shows. In LJ... it just feels easier to spill.

Ok this is retarded I'm like blogging about my Bandung trip on Blogspot and I'm writing shit here.
Haha. Maybe a proper post soon.

x

I know I haven't been entertaining or funny for a while... I WAS BZ.
Bz going back to blogspot (ok that took only today) and my new obsession...
which is posted on flymoniker.

 

I am so angry.
Like on the outside, i'm trying to keep my cool but on the inside i'm bubbling like lava.
So many things have been making me mad... Most of them school related.
Like when I first wanted to go poly, I naively thought that i'll be away from all the hypocrisies and poseurs.
BUT GUESS WHAT
Poly has like 10times the juice compared to secondary school, BUT it's worse because no matter how much you hated the guts of an individual he or she would not be able to do stuff detrimental to your grades.
BUT GUESS WHAT
In poly, people can. And they do.
I wish I could go "Fuck em," like in secondary school but I can't cos I want to go uni I want to go overseas to journalize I want to make lots of money I want to buy Coach bags for my mom.

I so cannot stand it when some of them treat me like retards... at least in RV I knew they were smarter, so I felt justified right?
But HEH-LOW we're in the same bloody class and as bimbotic as I appear I come from a better school then most of you.
If I went to school as often as you guys do, my grades wouldn't be so bad.
Hell, I'm getting the same grades as most of you.

So, shut the hell up.